SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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