dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
