when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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