I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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