We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
