Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
When are your genitals available?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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