It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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