4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
