I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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