I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
