dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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