i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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