oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize