Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
