You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
