Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
