atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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