i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
