I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
