I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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