Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
