I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
