She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
