Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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