'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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