i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
