we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
