We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
