if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
