And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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