there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I will be naked everywhere
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
