Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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