I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
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I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
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