over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
where are you?
Hypothermia
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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