that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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