jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
