"it" just moved
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
