can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
