Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
