Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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