That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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