Will you blow on my dice?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
