her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
