TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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