No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
