he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
