just come out here and I will go home with you...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
