I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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