well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
