i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
