I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
