Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize