dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
