Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize