we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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