Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club