just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies