i permit you to call me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
