i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
