somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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