She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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