I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
