Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
