And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
