After last night, I could never be a politician.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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