Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize